i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
