Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
