dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
