I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize