O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
