My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
