I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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