Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
