she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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