Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
