Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize