ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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