Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Oh god it's open bar.
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