chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize