Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
