just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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