im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
