we're chasing vodka with high fives
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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