and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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