who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
