i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
