What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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