So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
