I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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