wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
