Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
