can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
