Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
