Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
