don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
