now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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