sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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