just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize