I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Randomize
