My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize