Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
BRING THE BAGELS
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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