This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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