i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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