I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
