she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
