the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
