if i can run in heels then i can drive
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
