are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
