I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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