we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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