I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
