You really coming over, don't trick.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
