Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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