He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
