Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
