You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
