is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
