HIV tests are more positive than that guy
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
