Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
