HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize