Will you blow on my dice?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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