Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
bring money and cleavage
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
