if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
